Tuesday, 24 February 2009

Eat Your Toast Crusts And Your Hair Will Curl.

The thought of no toast in our household is, well, unthinkable. So there was a need for urgent toaster replacement after our little problem last Sunday. Money is tight so it was decided to go 'cheap and cheerful', as my Mother used to say. Asda is the closest store so they were the lucky recipients of the princely sum of £7.00 for a Stainless Steel 2 Slice Toaster, from the Asda Smart Price range. It looks alright, bit small, bit basic, but it's a toaster, isn't it?
Well that is the question, is it a toaster? It has setting from 1 all the way through to 5, it has a cancel button. It doesn't have any little lights or displays, which is good, we're striving to be green. The slider thing you push down to set it going has a strange and slightly uncomfortable feel about it, but that is probably just because it is unfamiliar. Now here's what makes me wonder, regardless of which setting it is on all you get is two slices of dry bread, faintly coloured and just warm.
Granted, some folk like their toast lightly done, that's what the rarely used 1 setting is all about, but that's what we are getting on no.5!! I'd get crispier toast by holding the bread up to my face when I'm having a hot flush!
I did wonder for a while if there had been some new edict from above about the status of toast in the nations diet and it had been decided that it should be a pale imitation of what it used to be because of some hitherto unknown health hazard bought on by it being slightly overdone, so toaster manufacturers had been forced to adjust the settings, fearful of the risk of being prosecuted in a class action by disgruntled sad toast apologists who had all mysteriously lost their hair.
When I was a child my mother told me that if I ate up all my crusts I would get curly hair. When I was a child I had long straight red hair, and I absolutely adored those slightly burned toast crusts. I ate my own and the ones my my poor old granddad couldn't manage. 50 years on, I have curly hair, it's not red any more and it's a lot shorter, but she was right, my hair got curly. In my mind hair and toast are somehow aligned, I don't remember any hair/toast traumas, but I guess there must have been one.
Anyway, the moral of this story is...... If you are going to buy a toaster don't bother with Asda Smart Price, bargain basement, it had to be cheap for a reason, Stainless Steel 2 Slice Toaster. Its crap.

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